Ambition – I started getting really ambitious in 2016 after my wife came back from deployment and we had a lot of extra money. We traveled a lot that year and I was able to get some great photographs to add to my series, but we were spending money recklessly and got used to it. I was buying frames, costumes, props, makeup, as well as printing and framing photographs for an art show I put on in 2017. At the time I had high hopes and I thought it would get me noticed. (for a short story about the Red Series Art Show, click here).About a month after I put on my first Art show, reality hit, and I realized my dreams put my family in a financial burden. One of the reasons I am a stay at home dad is because I told my wife I could make money with my photography and that my ‘Red Series’ would get me noticed some day.
I was also in the process of doing a website, dcphoto.usa, and creating a calendar for 2018. I thought for sure it would be really successful because of the way I was doing it. By March of 2018 I put the calendars I didn’t sell in a box with the words FREE on it and still couldn’t get rid of them. It broke my heart because I was $1500 in the hole. It was then that the bitterness started to take root and grow inside me.
My wife and I invested money into Poshmark too, but still haven’t made our money back. We have both tried other ways to make money, but every time we did, we ended up spending much more than we have made. Briana and I were determined to pay off our bills and make it so we could move into a bigger place, but we were just getting more and more into debt.
By 2019, I became so bitter that it turned into anger and I really didn’t know what direction to go. All I knew was that I was sick and tired of feeling like I was failing. I was at the point where I was willing to do whatever I had to in order to change the circumstances I created as head of the household. When I got to the point where I had no where’s to turn, I turned to God. Once Briana saw my sincerity, her faith grew, and we started giving everything to God. It started with forgiving myself, forgiving others and asking for forgiveness.
I ended up shutting down my website in 2019 but by God’s grace I created dcnonfiction.com at Wix.com in 2020 and I couldn’t be happier. I just wish it didn’t take me over a year to start working on it again. To be honest, I was fearful that I would run into the same problems I had with the other websites I started. I must be honest, at times I would allow my frustration to get the best of me and as a result, it turned into anger again and the bitterness would get even worse. Thankfully, I was humble enough to ask God to give me the patience I needed and turn off the voices in my head, so that I could use the knowledge I had learned from the other websites and create this one.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13
Every once in a while, I have to remind myself of the blessings God has bestowed on my family, especially when I get overwhelmed, like I have been for the last couple of months. It’s a reminder of how ambitious I was because of how much stuff we really had and how much has gone towards art, photography, frames, fashion, Poshmark, and make up. It’s a little overwhelming at times but as long as we keep on asking God to direct us one step at a time, everything will come together for good and the glory of God.
The Red Series
In the spring semester of 2014, I took a one credit class in photography at Manchester Community College (MCC) because I wanted to sharpen my skills with light photography. Since I have been a photographer for many years I knew there were many different ways to use light. You have side lighting, rim lighting, and back lighting. There’s soft light, hard light ambient light and artificial light. Each type of lighting will give your subject a unique look and they are all a lot of fun to experiment with but I wanted to focus on artificial light because there’s so many different ways you can use artificial light and you can always learn something new! I love ambient light too, but you don’t have any control over it, so you have to be very patient and wait for the perfect lighting.
The photograph I submitted for the student show was done with ambient light and it got a lot of publicity. I even had a Professor ask me if I would be interested in putting it in a gallery that she was the curator for. I was so excited that I bought some frames for the three photographs I wanted to submit to her. It was a really big decision because I was going big (Meaning the photographs were going to be printed 24x36 and framed in a gold frame. After finding out that the exhibit was only for graduates of MCC, I was really bummed because I still had a couple semester to go before I graduated, but that didn’t stop me.
This video is about the first 3 photographs of my 'Red Series'
Go to navigation bar/Full Moon to read the full story.
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